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[Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead]
Plot:A take off of the 1966 play Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead where a ladies man gets a job from a creepy patient of his father's to direct an off-Broadway play. Little does he know that the play is an adaptation of Hamlet written by a master vampire, and soon enough, he finds himself in the middle of 2000 year old conspiracy.
Cast:Jeremy Sisto
Devon Aoki
Ralph Maccio
Sean Lennon
Kris Lemche
My Thoughts:Nice try, but ultimately a misfire.
Review:"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead" is a blending of the 1966 shakesperian story "Hamlet", with a modern day vampire tale. A semi-slacker/ladies man, gets a gig from his doctor father, who has a patient who's in the stage play business. Hoping to jumpstart his son's move into adulthood (and employment), he demands his son go down to the theatre and apply to be a producer on the production. Which he does. This as he is trying to reconcile with his girlfriend (Aoki), who he cheated on previously. And is also being pulled in a different direction by his best friend (Lemche).
But there's a catch to the "production", the theatre where it's taking place had an actress murdered there a few years back. The killer was never caught. And the killer was a vampire, who is the same vampire who's putting on this new production of Hamlet! Will our hero be able to piece together this mystery in time before he himself becomes "undead"? This film does a few things right. Problem is, it does just about as many things wrong. The pic takes the same old boring vampire mythology, and tries to twist it new.
The film basically has this old vampire (old in vampire years not elderly), putting on these productions so he can lure in actors and actresses for him and his proteges can feed on. So every new production is pretty much an all you can drink buffet. Unbeknownst to the actors of course. It also doesn't go through the pains of making vampires look cool or sexy. And the usual acrobatics and blinding speed effects seen in most modern day vampire movies, are absent here. This movie keeps the vampires more traditional with the ability to disappear and reappear at will. And of course the ability to seduce young ladies with their charm.
I appreciated that the film didn't take the typical route with it's vampires, nor does it have any of those climactic battles between a vampire hunter and the master vampire where Matrix-esque cgi and stunts are called for. The movie sticks more to the comedic side of things, and while there is a vampire-hunter-like character involved, the gender of the character is a nice twist, and the character's demeanor and depth are decent expansions on their role in the overall story.
Problem is though, a lot of these good things are tainted by some questionable performances, and some horrid dialogue. Not to mention a lot of the characters are very boring, including the films male lead. And the female lead for that matter. The writers just don't make their parts strong enough. Thus things fall apart very quickly here. It's hard for a movie to have the necessary base elements to succeed, yet the components necessary to to strengthen it's base elements are way too weak to do so. That's what the problem is with "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead".
The film brings together a diverse bunch of actors, including the not-too-often seen Ralph Maccio, and Jeremy Sisto who since "Dead and Breakfast", has seemed to abandon the horror genre altogether. And Kris Lemche is no slouch, but Devon Aoki, the movies female lead...is not a bad actress. This is yet another role that was just wrong for her I felt. In fact, I think a lot of the roles for most of these actors in this movie may have seemed like fun on paper, but on-screen, they were weak. Thus the actors full talent couldn't be on display.
Lemche was way better in "Final Destination 3" with limited screentime. He gets way more screentime in "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead"...but the script and his character are both so flawed that there was no way he could corral this thing to salvage it and make it atleast decent. Sisto's character, a cop, who comes in in the middle of the movie, brings some much needed laughs to an otherwise boring, droll, bland, and gloomy film. But he can't save it entirely.
After all, he's not the lead in this one. As for the vampires, these vamps are masters at keeping their cover. I'll give them that. But in the scope of the movie, their strategy to turn all of the thespians into vampires isn't played out well enough on screen. It comes off as cheesy and fragmented. You never get a smooth or fluid enoguh motion to really buy these vampires as the villains of the film. The finale of the movie shows some flashes though, as it delves deeper into the relationship between the films male and female leads, and actually when the movies final 15 to 20 minutes comes and go's, you wonder why this kind of writing took so long to be brought out.
And where was it during the first 60 or so minutes? "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead" is a nice swipe at doing something new with vampires and vampire movies. It means to be cheesy and daft in some ways. But the script isn't strong enough for the movie to fully embrace it's funny parts nor it's character depth. It misses the mark quite a bit.
Positives:Casting was good, and the final 15 minutes or so were strong.
Negatives:A script which fails a lot of the actors. The vampires are a hard sell considering how "Buffy The Vampire Slayer 1992"ish they are. And the comedy fell flat and needed work.
Overall:One and a half stars out of four.
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