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[Final Destination 5 3D]
Plot:Death is just as omnipresent as ever, and unleashed after one man's premonition saves a group of coworkers from a terrifying suspension bridge collapse. But this group of unsuspecting souls was never supposed to survive, and, in a terrifying race against time, the ill-fated group frantically tries to discover a way to escape Death's sinister agenda.

Cast:Miles Fisher, Arlen Escarpeta, Meghan Ory, Nicholas D'Agosto, Ellen Wroe, Tony Todd, P.J. Byrne, Emma Bell.

My Thoughts:Just not fun anymore.

Review:The reason why the "Final Destination" movies have worked so well for an entire decade, is because they were fun. "Final Destination", "Final Destination 2", "Final Destination 3" as well. "The Final Destination 3D" was fun, in it's absurdity. But still fun. Now, comes the fifth installment. "Final Destination 5 3D". Probably the franchises first ever installment which is simply put, no fun whatsoever. The movies begins when a group of co-workers go on a corporate retreat together.

Once their bus arrives at the bridge. Which is undergoing heavy construction (as traffic is crossing? Is that even legal?), a worker with a jackhammer creates a crack in the concrete which quickly spreads and pretty soon, engulfs and swallows the entire structure. Pretty soon, the group all flee the bus, except for one guy who ends up getting left behind because he is on his cellphone. He of course bites the dust, and as the group of co-workers are running all over the bridge, trying to find a way to escape a grissly fate, they get taken out one by one in various, gory, gruesome ways.

Including a nice impalement via sailboat mast moment. This of course, is the obligatory premonition moment, and thus...our story is set in motion. So the obligatory premonition guy, who strangely enough...looks exactly almost like his best friend/co-worker...gets all of his co-workers/friends off the bus before it plunges over the collapsing bridge. The bridge collapse happens, but the group survives it after being warned ahead of time. But death isn't pleased, and so now it begins to set them up one by one to croak.

The bridge collapse when ranking this franchises opening scene deaths? When compared to the others? Probably ranks closer to the rollercoaster crash in part 3. It definitely has nothing on the plane crash in "Final Destination". Nor does it come close to touching the road accident in part 2. It barely grazes part 3's coaster crash. But totally owns part 4's shitty nascar race accident. That thing was just trash.

So once these people, who look a lot older than the kids from "The Final Destination" by the way. An obvious sign that the filmmakers of part 5 were trying to replicate part 2's diverse age-group of people, are away from the bridge...we await the first person to bite the dust at deaths hand. Judging by the clips shown before the fourth sequel was released, the movie makes us believe that we're gonna be in for some sweet deaths this time around. I thought part 4 had some of the crappiest deaths on franchise record. Only the triple-whammy at the end was worthy of a standing ovation.

But the deaths in "Final Destination 5", while bloody, gory, gruesome, and all of that...still lacked that certain "oomph", that the kills in previous installments have had. They are still in the same pattern of unfortunate accidents, strange occurances and stuff, but they seem less ominous and dark than they were in the first 3 movies. You at this point can tell the writers are just throwing around paper airplanes in the studio, trying to come up with new ways for "death", to take people out. This as they balance pencils on their noses.

Back in the first 3 movies, it seemed that even though it was a movie, there was a dark, supernatural hand at work. But not anymore. The formula has become so watered down and predictable, that the fun has been sapped out of these movies now. It's all run-of-the-mill now. Chorish, if you will. It doesn't seem original, fun, or harsh anymore. And this is evident in the way these people die. For example, after the first bridge survivor gets their come-uppance when they splat to the floor from a botched gymnastics attempt, then we get the acupuncture kill. Which is not as awesome as advertised.

And there's also some kills in this movie which are just lazy. It seems that random shrapnel or metallic bars just careening out of nowhere, and impaling people through the fact has become a theme in this franchise now. And it's so annoying and so chumpy. It's like, coming up with an elaborate kill like Ashley and Ashlynn's tanning bed roast in part 3, takes creative juices. But how hard it is to write a scene where a piece of loose shrapnel just pops a guy in the face and sends him to the afterlife? It's just a waste of time. And it seems at this point in the franchise, the cast is being judged on what actor is younger and more well-known via their fanbases.

First of all, beyond Emma Bell (Frozen), Arlen Escarpeta (Friday The 13th), and the guy who played their boss (Snakes On A Plane), I had no idea who any of these people were. Yet it seemed that the filmmakers decided some characters weren't worth killing off proper-like, so they were quickly dispatched by a piece of flying metal or some quick, random murder. Now the laser eye surgery chick got a very good death. Even though there was a part of it which felt lazily written to me. I just thought in part 5, the set-up's for the kill, out did the actual payoffs! The actual deaths themselves.

Even Tony Todd, who pops up from time to time, to deliver cryptic messages to the kids about their proverbial fates, can't save this movie. While he does make the most of his scenes, his insertion into the movie is an obvious hint at something larger which unfolds near the end. At any rate, a new wrinkle is introduced into the movie. After a few of the lesser characters get knocked off. Apparently, killing someone else can spare the marked kids from dying. Question then becomes, who will cross the line and commit murder to save their own asses?

A cool little nugget to throw into the mix mid-movie, but it again, like a lot of things in "FD 5"...is squandered to hell by the writers. And instead of being a driving force of the movies dull third act? It ends up being a footnote in the finale. In the end, "FD 5" does come up with a big twist at the end, connecting itself to the rest of the franchise. The twist is intriguing, but when you consider everything that came before was dropped, squandered, or ill-conceived...even the clever twist ending falls flat. "FD 5" is not a hateable movie.

It's not angeringly bad, or pull-your-hair out crappy. Nor does it make you wanna walk out of the theater. But it is a HUGE missed opportunity to make a sequel that could have been as good as the first film. I felt so many moments here make you lean forward in anticipation, only to have you fall back in your eat after you realize the writers botched another golden opp. yet again. At some point, the movie makes you feel discouraged from even caring anymore.

Kind of like a wide receiver who drops pass, after pass, after pass. And at some point, when the ball gets thrown to him, you just roll your eeys and turn away because you already know the outcome. Maybe, if there's a sixth movie, they can take some of these moments and milk them for all they're worth. But "FD 5" does give itself a chance to succeed. It just never quite can grab that brass ring and declare victory.

Positives:Good set up's for the deaths. Emma Bell gets a decent performance. As does Jacqueline MacInnes Wood. The lasik surgery death was ok. The gymnast death was sweet. The ending is a clever twist on the franchise.

Negatives:The kills lack impact. The set up's out-do the actual follow-through. Some of the deaths seemed lazily crafted. The two lead guys of the film were boring and painful to watch. So one-dimensional and uninteresting.

Overall:Two stars out of four.





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